Friday, 31 July 2009
Tuesday, 28 July 2009
Monday, 27 July 2009
How was your weekend? Did u drink too much again? You have a bit of a problem.
I have discovered that a lot more people than I realised have been reading this blog. Bloody hell you guys must be really fucken bored! Anyway to protect people’s privacy I will occasionally change the name of the people I am referencing. If you have a preference for your pseudonym then please let me know.
So I’m just back from my trip to the deen. It was ace, after a surprisingly pleasant bus journey ( I got a double decker, also known as the stretch limo of the bus world)
First act of business was to check out my new flat, its about 20 minutes from city centre, im not going to give you the exact address because you might be a crazy stalker who wants to come round, peel off my skin and wear it to your birthday. Here’s my new front door, and thats all the info you will get out of me!
The flat is one of several hundred owned by the real estate queen of Aberdeen, Deardrie. (also known as the crazy flower lady in the restaurant) it’s small but it’ll do. The Kitchen is quite small but that’s not a problem because I’m not much of a chef. The problem is I don’t know where im going to put all my dvd’s!! I do not like throwing out anything and im not sure how im gonna fit all my stuff into this flat.
I’m moving all my stuff in, in a couple of weeks, anyone who is free on Sunday august 9th if you give me a hand you will be rewarded with Beer and the finest take away pizza domino’s has to offer.
Then went to my parents house, I am sure it is shrinking. I haven’t lived there in several years but I remember it being bigger. Went for a run, my dad asked if I was running to the chipper, he does not read the blog so in his mind this was a very original joke,(just not very funny) My Mum made steak pie which was awesome and then I headed into town. My folk’s house is miles away from town but luckily my mum was heading to church (by church I mean bingo, she goes a lot, she has a problem)
I got dropped off at my mates house where we started the night, the way EVERY Saturday night should start, with beer and Doctor Who. My friend is a part time geek, he’s not quite at my level but give him time. We were planning on heading to town as soon as doctor who finished but we both still had half a beer to finish, this led to watching Top Gear and having another beer. Fearing our friends would be angrily waiting for us we left half way thru top gear and headed to the pub. We were around 45 minutes late and we were still the first there. I was quite annoyed, we could have finished watching Top Gear! We started in the old hogs head. It hasn’t been called the hogs head in about 10 years but we still call it that. There were beers galore and the banter was flowing, after a few beers we decided to head to the club where our friend is general manager, it was his birthday and felt we should join him for a birthday drink. He was working so we had the drink for him. It was here I bumped into an old friend of mine. I had not seen her in a couple of years and she seemed to want to escape some bloke who was chatting her up. We went out side for a cigarette, I suddenly remembered I don’t smoke so just tried to blend in with the smokers and look cool. The banter was in full swing and she mentioned she had been reading the blog. She even suggested a new name (something no one else has, bastards) It was quite good, I promised her If I use it I’d buy her a drink. We wandered off together and the next morning I woke up in Portlethen. (a tiny village about 10 miles away). After parting ways with my lady friend I realised I had no idea how to get back to Aberdeen. I asked a woman at the bus stop what time the next bus was and she looked terrified. This may be because there was a strange bearded man smelling of beer talking to her. They don’t like city boys out there!
I eventually got back to my folks house around 1 ish, my dad was good enough to cook me a bacon sandwich, I ate half of it, vomited a bit, then finished the sandwich. I started thinking about all this exercise im doing. There’s no need, ill just vomit after a meal, its genius. I wonder if there’s a name for this diet? After finishing my sandwich I had a well earned nap, unfortunately I slept a bit later than I meant to and missed my dinner reservation with Althea and Ivano. Never mind.
Had some pasta then headed into town to meet up with the restaurant staff. I was still hungover from the night before so I started slowly, with a diet coke and then a red bull before I mustered up the courage to order a beer. Lately I can’t seem to handle my drink, I only had a few beers on sat night with the guys but I was quite drunk. I blame this on lack of sleep and not my lack of drinking ability. Anyway once one of the owners turned up I was not allowed to be such a wimp. She is a tough negotiator and managed to get a decent deal out of the manager for cheap cocktails. We were in revolution which I have not liked in the past, the food and service is almost always shit but the location is good. I was quite impressed with this button.
Althea was disappointed to discover it was for the outside heaters and not a marital aid.
So it was cocktail after cocktail and Althea was getting drunker and drunker. It was great to see some of the old staff again. Joyce was there and seemed chuffed about her reference. And Fingers, one of the barman came along, a few weeks ago there was talk of us moving in together but I have decided I want to live on my own. I can’t be arsed living with people any more, I don’t want to wait for the shower in the morning, I don’t want to clean up someone else’s mess in the kitchen so I can cook my dinner. Plus I am a miserable git so I don’t think I’d be very pleaseant to live with, and I want to run around my house naked.
The night started off slow but eventually a lot of people turned up including one girl who I think was called vagina!
After revolution we all moved to Enigma, some of the staff were already there because they said they couldn’t afford to drink in revolution. I didn’t notice the difference in price but I did notice the difference in music, It was awesome. It appeared to be 80’s night in enigma and I was loving it, among my favourites played were “you can call me Al” and “we didn’t start the fire” by billy joel. I was loving it. A few people couldn’t hack the pace and went home to bed where the rest of us took the party to espionage. It was £2.5 for a cocktail before midnight, we go there around 11:30 and it was dead. It still took about 15 minutes to get a bloody drink. I think this may have been a cunning plan in order to sell us one cheap cocktail and by the time we’ve finished it they are more expensive. Clever. Either that or the bar maid was shit!
it was empty but that didn't stop Althea from wanting to dance
One of the waitress's was impressed with the female budda
After a while the club started to get semi busy so there was a bit of an atmosphere, I had a bit of a boogie and then noticed some kind of disturbance with my drinking buddies at the bar. I mosied on over to investigate and here’s what I gather happened. One of the restaurant staff turned up and demanded the manager who was out with us, go to the restaurant and get her wages. What a bitch! It’s 1 am on a Sunday night, there is no one in the restaurant and she knows that. She could have picked them up yesterday or probably even earlier that day or even the next day, but she demanded that someone go and get them.
Now I admit I had a couple of beers in me by this point and it is very possible I got the wrong end of the stick and this is all just a big mix up. But I don’t think so. I am going to return to work at the restaurant soon and I sincerely hope this girl will be fired before then. The two managers who were out with us went back to the restaurant and this clearly upset some people. So a direct message to this girl!
WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU???
It’s a fucken night out and you come along and demand your wages, fuck off!
Now as I said there is a chance I may have gotten the wrong end of the stick and if so, ermmm sorry for calling you a bitch, I’m sure you’re a lovely person really, and I look forward to working with you in the restaurant and dancing the night away with you at the next staff night out.
I left around 1ish and headed to my favourite late night restaurant,
I like it because it does exactly what it says on the tin. Also I once got a pizza here in less than 30 seconds. The next day I realised that I may have taken someone else’s pizza but I was happy.
So monday morning arrived and I packed my bag and made my way to town, before I left I had arranged a meeting with the owner of the restaurant (Vinnie) to discuss my upcoming triumphant (part time) return to work. It was pouring rain and the thunder was deafening, it was like something out of a movie. I feared this was sign,something terrible was going to happen. Maybe Vinnie won’t let me work there, maybe he hates me, maybe he’s gonna pretend to have the meeting then kill me and harvest my organs, maybe he’s reading this blog and now thinks im a mental!! As the thunder roared in the sky above I saw vinnie approach from a distance, he apologised for being late and we went in. Luckily he did not harvest my organs (they can’t be worth that much, especially the liver) and the meeting went very well, he’s gonna pay me very well and work around college hours, I made a point in saying that college comes first but ill help out as much as I can. He’s going to send me on the personal licence course also. This means more responsibility than I would like but it also means a fun day out learning about drinking!!
So there we have it. My trip to the deen, in a rather boring blog entry .
So that was my trip up to Aberdeen
It really is the place to be seen
I had lots of beer on Saturday
I woke up with a girl, in a town far away.
On Sunday I decided to take it easy
Not drinking as much, not being so sleazy.
I woke up the next day, I was feeling fine
I woke up in the bed, that used to be mine.
That’s all for now, I’ve got to go.
Ill se you all soon, that’s fo sho!!
Sorry that poem is a bit shit ( and yes I do know that most of them are shit but that last line is awful)
Until next time
Have a nice
Saturday, 25 July 2009
Friday, 24 July 2009
Thursday, 23 July 2009
Good to see u, well I cant really see you (or can I?)
Saturday, 18 July 2009
How the hell r ya? Had a busy week? My week has been quite dull. Serving tapas to the masses in our nations capital is not as exciting as you may think. I have been stuck on the door for most of the week, which means I need to organise where people are sitting, sadly its not that busy so its quite an easy job. I have to stay by the door, so the phone gets answered and there is always someone there to greet the customers. The other day I had another potential love interest. A good looking blonde came in for lunch on her own, she felt a bit self conscious about being on her own, and didn’t want to sit in the main restaurant so she sat in the deli area. Although I don’t know how this made her feel less self conscious as every customer who came thru the front door would now see her, but who knows how a woman’s mind works? I don’t think they know themselves! Anyway after taking her order we got talking, she is moving up to Edinburgh in a week and she’s just here job hunting and trying to get to know the city. She had never been to Edinburgh before so I suggested a few decent pubs in town and a couple of decent restaurants I’ve been to. We were having quite a decent chat and in my head we were already madly in love. I then asked her what she was doing for accommodation; she said she was staying with her boyfriend.
Conversation over. There’s your bill! Have a good day!
Easy come easy go.
It can get slightly boring working the door, but you do get some entertainment from some of the truly stupid people who come through the door. Quite often people will just come in and say
“I have a booking”
And offer up no other information. They will just stare at me and expect me to know who they are. I’m not a Fucken mind reader!!! Good for you if you have a booking, so do all these other people on the page you fucken MONG! Sadly it is frowned upon when you talk to customers in this manner.
Customers are a strange bunch of people; I took a booking on the phone yesterday. When taking bookings I always take the first and last name. This is done because sometimes you get 2 bookings with the same surname and chaos ensues. And it happens more often than you would think, even if you have an unusual last name, I once had two booking under the name Dobbenmyre on the same night, turns out they were cousins who hadn’t seen each other in 20 years, I got the impression they would like to leave it that way. Also sometimes people coming may not know the surname of who booked. When I asked a customer for her first name, she said “now your pushing it!”
Now I’m pushing it? I’m asking for your first name! that’s all. It’s not like I’m breathing heavily down the phone asking what you’re wearing! Bloody people!
Today was not a particularly busy Friday. It did not help when it started to rain. I never understand people’s reaction to the rain. People seem terrified. People run through it to get somewhere, how much dryer do you think your actually gonna be if you run? Not much! People refuse to leave shops or bars because it’s raining. Its JUST WATER!!!!! What’s the worst that can happen? Do you think your gonna fucken drown!!
Sorry I am starting to sound like a miserable old git aren’t I? Maybe it’s my new haircut? Maybe it’s making me evil! That’s enough about work. I have been reading a great book at the moment its called Waiter Rant; it’s all about the life of a Real waiter in New York. It’s really good and completely accurate. Anyone reading this who works in hospitality you really should read it. You will totally relate to everything this guy says! Read his blog at http://waiterrant.net/ or buy his book on Amazon. It’s really good. I sound like a shit advert don’t I?
Anyway what else has been happening? I’m heading up to Aberdeen within the next couple of weeks to check out a potential new flat, I need to be out of here in one month. So I want to get all my stuff up to Aberdeen within the next 3 weeks. Anyone in the Deen who happens to be reading this, please help me move house! Any help will be rewarded with beer and take away pizza!
Can anyone think of a better name for this blog? Right now its called The Blog of Andy G, im tryin to come up with something better, I have a few names in mind, mostly puns based on film titles.
Right lets have a competition. I’m after a name for this Blog. It should be witty, original, inspirational, unique, charming, mysterious, awesome, interesting and inoffensive, just like me.
If someone submits a name which I deem Awesome enough to use as the new title, I will travel to wherever they are in the world and buy them a pint of there favourite beverage, they will receive an entire blog entry dedicated to them and I will even write one of my (admittedly crappy) poems about them.
For a new title I’m looking to you!
Can you come up with a name, or even 2?
Let your creativity blossom
I need a title that’s truly awesome
If your titles are better than mine
Maybe you could feature in my next rhyme!
Please submit your names to Andy@randomandom.com
Good Night and Good Luck!
p.s. for some reason face book have deleted all the Pics from my previous Blog entries, I don’t know why. I have sent them a semi abusive email asking what they think they are playing at! Hopefully the problem shall be rectified shortly.
I’ve just re read that blog entry and realised it’s a bit shit!! Especially that poem.
Ummmmmm sorry about that, to be honest I’m just a bit bored. But you must be bored too, what other excuse do you have for reading all the shit I write? Unless this is my future therapist trying to figure out what finally drove me over the edge before I got committed? That’s quite a worrying thought.
Ne way im gonna go now, if you can think of a decent name for this blog please let me know
Have a nice
Wednesday, 15 July 2009
I promised myself it would never happen, not to me, I was different! I would beat the system. I am Andy G, I will not succumb!! My Father always told me it was inevitable! It was in my D.N.A. I didn’t believe him, I held out hope for years that my real father was actually the milkman and this imposter was not to be believed. Sadly, my father spoke the truth. I should have known, we must be related, how can two people talk about Doctor Who so much and not be related?
My Mum promised me this would not happen, Mum how could you lie to me? You also told me I was the most handsome boy in Aberdeen? Was this also a lie? My very belief system is rocked to the core!!!
I now have 3 options
1 I can ignore the problem and hope it goes away!
2 I can acknowledge the problem and let destiny take its course
3 I can accept it, do what needs to be done and move on with my life.
Being the incredibly brave person that I am, I have gone for option number 3, its part of growing up, its gonna happen, I have to face facts!
This is a decision I may come to regret.
I should mention that I did not plan on making this life changing decision today. A series of random events led me here. After returning from my run today I hit the shower. Upon discovering I ran out of shampoo, I was irritated, but I was heading into town anyway. This was just another thing to add to the list. I was then annoyed to discover that I had run out of hair gel. This may be because I have not had my haircut in a couple of months and it’s a bit longer, therefore using more shampoo and gel, or my flatmates are stealing it.
(well maybe not Richard, he doesn’t really need to)
So, irritated I added the two extra items to my shopping list and hit the town.
I started my shopping but was startled to discover this!!!!
£3.42 for hair gel? Are you mental?? I can get 2 beers for that at happy hour!
So now it is with a heavy heart that I admit to you what it is I have done!
I have accepted my destiny, there is nothing I can do about it, its gonna happen, so it might as well happen with my consent.
When I awoke today at the crack of noon, I looked like this
I look like this!!!
Oh dear God what have I done????????? I know my father will be laughing at me, years ago I died my hair blonde and he laughed then, (most people did tho) and I know he will be laughing now.
He was 24 when it happened to my Dad
Well at least im 27, that’s no so bad
I looked in the mirror as she shaved my hair
It fell to the floor, there wasn’t much there
So now it’s colder upon my head
I really wish I stayed in bed!
Will my hair ever grow back?
Sadly not on top, only on my crack!
Has anyone got a spare hat?